What tragic times have befallen the Spanish royal family! Queen Sophia couldn’t cook her elephant paella this weekend because her husband stepped on his skirt and fell during his safari in Botswana. You can hear the stomachs of the children rumbling. There are rumors one of the infantas fainted after trying to eat her last evening dress while the Prince of Asturias has been last spotted chasing a goat around the Picos de Europa.
There are at least 3 things more pathetic than a wounded hunter past his prime who cannot deliver for his family.
The first one is that Juan Carlos is moonlighting as a honorary president of the Spanish branch of conservation group WWF, while in his less honorable time he enjoys shooting animals he doesn’t even eat.
The second one is that there are enough psychologically repressed macho men in Spain who secretly admire him for being able to satisfy his bloodlust in far away lands. After all domestic bullfighting is not what it used to be and there are so many gay people frowning about it. So many that all the machos dream of packing their bags for Botswana.
The third one is that tolerating a privileged aristocracy in the 21st Century is the purest form of masochism.