Castilian Mythology, Part I (Creation)

The Powers That Be

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God heard a noise in the kitchen and created light to see whether a mouse wasn’t eating his cheese. There was indeed one. It was staring at him with its cute little eyes and mouth full of tasty aromatic cheese. God got really angry. He knew the mouse was an incarnation of the Devil. The Devil himself was created by God but an unfortunate accident during a poker game turned them into bitter enemies.

God decided to trick the Devil and get rid of him, so he created Earth, then turned to the mouse and said: “Naughty little rodent! You ate my cheese and pooped in my fridge, therefore I curse you for all eternity! You shall live in holes in the Earth and chew wheat grains all the days of your miserable life!”

“Wheat what?” said the mouse.

“Wheat grains!” repeated the Lord with his majestic, authoritative voice.

“What on Earth is that?” asked the mouse and then added ironically “Pun intended!”

“Oh crap!” said the Lord and threw some weed seeds on the freshly created Earth. “Here they are!” The seeds immediately started sprouting, growing bigger and bigger. In several minutes, the whole Earth was a dense, impenetrable wheat field.

“That’s not very cosy you know…” complained the mouse “I can hardly move in this thick vegetation. Is this the best you can do?”

“Of course not!” angrily replied the Lord whose pride was slightly hurt for having to reason with a tricky little rodent. So he created men to control the spread and growth of weed.

Planet Hay II

“Interesting!” said the mouse and took a sip of tea to wash the remains of cheese down his tiny cute belly “I shall befriend thee!”

“Like hell you will!” said the Lord “I will make their women scream each moment they see you!”

“What on Earth are women?” The mouse could barely hide its itchy sarcasm behind his cute little mustaches.

“Erm…” God hesitated for a while but decided to pretend He wasn’t caught unprepared, so He snapped his fingers very fast hoping the mouse wouldn’t notice “There they are!”

“Interesting!” said the mouse. “You just created women!”

“No I didn’t…” replied the Lord “Men did!”

“Those men are pretty creative” said the mouse. “I think I like them. Maybe I should move to Earth permanently, eat grains for a while and then wait until they start producing cheese!”

Judging by His red, pulsating face, God was getting pretty pissed off. The mouse knew it was getting on His nerves big time but continued to play the role of an innocent creature with a superb Satanic dedication.

“Say it!” said the mouse with its little tender voice!

“Say what?” angrily exploded the Lord.

The mouse smiled and sarcastically added “You lost again!”

“No I didn’t, you little idiot! They will never make cheese! They won’t even think of making cheese! Even if there were cows on Earth and those cows get domesticated by the humans. Even if they milk them every day and get the best milk in the entire Universe, even then, they won’t make cheese!”

“That doesn’t seem very logical to me!” said the mouse “Why would they refuse to make cheese after all this!”

“Because I will forbid them to!” said the Lord.

And that’s how sin was created.

2 comments on “Castilian Mythology, Part I (Creation)

  • Wonderful pictures of your tour in the countyside of Spain and great your looking at around clicking your pics, I like the landscapes. Thanks for sharing Mr. :D

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